Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Teacher Shows Up for School Drunk Off Her Ass! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Teacher Shows Up for School Drunk Off Her Ass!

Best of Dumbass News

There are people out there with some tough jobs.

Jobs that are often thankless or taken for granted by the General Public.

Being a Law Enforcement Officer comes to mind.

When a cop is out on a call, he never knows what is gonna happen next.

He could come face to face with a psychotic killer with a Dirty Harry-type gun.

And a death wish.

Or he could get his ass kicked by a woman with duct taped tits. 

Even the seemingly mundane task of issuing a parking ticket could turn to shit.


Another oft-forgotten occupation, although a well-respected one, that is regularly over looked despite being demanding and time consuming as hell, is teaching.

Michelle Drunk Belle

Higher Education

Just imagine spending God knows how many hours cooped up in a small room with twenty or thirty whiny ass hoodlums children all day. Talk about needing the patience of Job.

And lots of booze.

A substitute teacher in Ada, Oklahoma was prepared to teach an elementary school class. And by "was prepared" I naturally mean "commode-huggin' drunk".

As a Former Professional Drinker, let me share with you some Very Astute Former Professional Drinker Observations...

  • Being imprisoned within arm's reach of a class room full of kids of all temperaments is a very stressful situation.
  • Thus requiring a not insignificant quantity of distilled spirits.
  • Preferably grain alcohol.
  • The Three Rs.
  • Rum, Reposado, Rumpleminze
  • A, B, C
  • Absolut, Bourbon, Crown Royal
  • Did police require this Inebriated Educator have to walk the Number Line?
  • When asked to recite the alphabet, was she allowed to read them off those little ABC thingies on the wall of the classroom? 
  • See Jane.
  • Jane is a Dick.
  • A drunk Dick.
  • Drunk Teacher Required Reading: Tequila Mockingbird

***Hat tip Fox News***


  1. Mebbe she was saaaaad that so many of her fellow teachers have been arrested for perving on kids.

    I'm just glad my kid was as butt ugly as his momma. Imagine the "trauma" he's been spared...

  2. Honestly, a little alcohol helps you deal with some of those hellions.

    1. As an Old Guy with young kids, I tend to agree.


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