Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass Yard Sale: Sell Stuff Stolen From Church! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Dumbass Yard Sale: Sell Stuff Stolen From Church!

Best of Dumbass News

The family that plays together, stays together.

Sometimes after they play together, they even go to The Slammer together.

Let Us Play

For millions of families across The Fruited Plain, a Family Game Night would include a Monopoly marathon, Uno, jigsaw puzzles or some other form of activity that brings a family together not only to play, but to bond and actually communicate with each other.

Other families might play Charades, watch a movie or burglarize a church.....

What???

Thou Shall Not Steal

I can't remember exactly what Commandment number that is, but it's one of the Top Ten.

As a Catholic I believe in different degrees of severity of Sin - venial or mortal sin. A venial sin would be akin to a "white lie" - stealing a candy bar, for example- not good, but certainly not something that will condemn a Soul to Eternal Hellfire and Damnation. Mortal sins, on the other hand, are of a very serious nature. A mortal sin would be something like committing murder or some other really bad offense against God - like being an Unrepentant Godless Commie Asshat or Mayor of Chicago.

But I digress.

The Mikell/Jones Family of Slidell, Looziana recently had a nice Family Night together - a nice Family Night of Breaking Into and Stealing From a House of God! This is one of those "mortal sins" I mentioned earlier.

While The Big Guy detests all sin, it is my belief that He would classify burglary of a Church as somewhat more serious than swiping a Snickers Bar. But that's just me - and 1.2 billion other Catholics.


So the MJF (Mikell/Jones Family) busts into a Church and steal a bunch of stuff. A short time later, one member of MJF (The Daughter) gets hauled off to jail. Being incarcerated means having to post bond in order to remain on "The Outside" while awaiting adjudication of the criminal matter before the Court.

This presents no problem to Mom and Dad MJF.

They simply sell some of the stuff stolen from the Church to raise bail money for The Daughter!

With The Daughter out of the Big House, the family reunites and guess what?

They rob the same Church again! 

This is what is called Mortal Sin Number 2. 

Not ones to shy away from The Mortal Sin Trifecta, and ever-entrepreneurial, the Mikell/Jones Family gathers up their latest round of ill-gotten gains (that means "stolen shit" for all the Yoopers in the reading audience) and has a Yard Sale!

I can not speak for The Almighty, but I fairly confident that at this point in the MJF Saga, He ain't paving any streets in Heaven with gold for these people.

Satan, on the other hand, is laughing his pointed tail off.

Bottom Line

Let's just say that the Mikell/Jones Family did not pass "Go" and did not collect $200.

The MJF was narcked on by some other Low Life and are now guests of the St. Tammany Parish Jail.

Let us pray that all three members of the MJF get a hold of a Bible while in the Crossbar Hilton and find some of That Old Time Religion.

Dumbasses.

***Hat Tip The Black Sphere ***

No comments:

Post a Comment

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings Google

Follow Us