Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Hello, IRS? I'd Like My $94 Million Tax Refund Please! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, October 20, 2014

Hello, IRS? I'd Like My $94 Million Tax Refund Please!

There are several Indisputable Truths of Life. 

For example:
  • You don't tug on Superman's cape.
  • You don't piss into the wind.
  • You don't pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger.
  • And you don't mess around with Jim. (Just ask Bad Leroy Brown)
  • Don't fuck with the IRS.
When it comes to the IRS, I'd rather perform a root canal on myself with a ball peen hammer and a rusty railroad spike than to deal with those bastards.

I heard a preacher once say that one of his parishoners had a problem with the Internal Revenue Service and he refused to pay them what thy said he owed. The Guy told the preacher, "They can't get blood from a turnip." The preacher replied, "But they can certainly come get the turnip."

Taking into account the preacher's admonishment that "they can come get the turnip", and the fact that the IRS can be "aggressive" when pursuing tax scofflaws, I see absolutely no reason to piss off the revenuers.

It appears, however, that a  couple of people in Georgia evidently didn't get the Don't Jack With the
IRS memo. Or heard about the blood from a turnip story.

This Dynamic Duo of Dumbassery went waaaaayyyyy above and beyond the Call of Stoopididity.

They both claimed to have made $99 million in income for the tax year. Read that again - $99 MILLION! I realize that there are people who make that kind of cheese, but I'll go out on a limb here and say that NONE of them live in Atlanta, Jawja - with possible exception of the CEO of Coca Cola.

If you think claiming to have earned $99 Really Big Ones in salary is stoopid, what do you think about the fact that Moe and Ron said that each of them was due a tax refund of $94 MILLION a piece?

You may think it's insane, the IRS thinks it is criminal.

One of these dipshits has been arrested while the other remains on the lam.

The lady who was popped has retained the services of the high-powered law firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, Dumbass Esquires.

The attorneys, whose clients are of a minority persuasion, say that this is an "honest mistake", laying the blame squarely on creepy ass crackas, raaaaacism, Coomon Core math, Fox News and George W. Bush.

OK, I made that last paragraph up.

Dumbasses.

***hat Tip to s2, Dumbass Emeritus***

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