Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass Crime: Twerking Your Way to Prison! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Dumbass Crime: Twerking Your Way to Prison!

Best of Dumbass News

Out of over 1700 posts and 4 years of doing Dumbass News, I'm not sure if I have ever written a story about twerking.

I shall do so today.

I am by no means an Expert on Twerking, but from what I understand it requires one to vigorously vibrate her ass up and down like she is trying shake loose a stubbornly stuck turd after a healthy session of "dropping the kids off at the pool."

At least that the criterion I shall use for the purpose of today's story.

What's Shakin' (Besides Females' Asses)

A chick named Coura had to go to the Municipal Court in Vancouver, Washington to pay the fine for a
Twerking Meth Heads
traffic ticket.

She took two of her friends with her.

Coura paid the fine and the trio headed outside.

Where they began to twerking like a meth head shaking from the DTs.

The three bimbos did this within eye shot of of some court room windows while one of them filmed the entire sordid episode on her cell phone.

Municipal Authorities were not amused.

It was during the twerking that some female genitalia were exposed. There was also some squatting and lady pissing on the Courthouse Grounds going on.

By the way, pissing on the Courthouse Grounds in Vancouver, Washington is called "offensive littering". Heh.

Municipal Authorities were further unamused.

The women got into a car, left the scene of the X-rated Twerking and were pulled over by the Police a few blocks away.

Surprise! Or Not

Three words: Cocaine, marijuana, meth.

Bonus Word: Jail.

After being bonded out of jail, one the bimbos posted the following on her Facebook page: "FYI it was not methephetamin it was MOLLY that was obviously cut ... Geez the news likes to overxacgerate... lol Don't bother texting or calling my phone they took that away from me. 

I'm glad we got that clarified.

Dumbasses.

*** Hat Tip to HuffPo & Mrs. Fearless Leader ***

4 comments:

  1. The line "vigorously vibrate her ass up and down like she is trying shake loose a stubbornly stuck turd after a healthy session of "dropping the kids off at the pool" is going to haunt me until the end of my days. So, thanks for that. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always nice to be able to leave a lasting impression on a Fellow Dumbass.

      Oh, yeah....doo doo!!! :)

      Delete
  2. If I've told them once, I've told them a million times not to overxacgerate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Teri. Ovaries are agitating. So i am told.

      Delete

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