Once many moons ago, I was a Radio Guy.
A Disc Jockey.
A Spinner of Stacks of Hot Wax.
Over the course of a decade and a half, I had to have played, by my math, damn near a half a million songs. Mostly country music.
As you can well imagine, an ass load of those songs sucked Swamp Donkey Gonads.
A bunch of 'em had some memorable titles. One of my personal favorites is "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life" by Bobby Bare.
I wrote a country song once. It was called "If You Wanna Keep Your Beer Cold, Put It Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart".
Below you'll find a list of ten actual Country Music song titles that took me damn near 14 seconds to won't I do for you Dumbasses?
The Dumbass News Top 10 Country Music Song Titles
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring ... You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You ... But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her to A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long
Be sure to join us for our next Dumbass News Top 10 Country Music Song Titles when we'll feature Hank Williams, Jr's "Fax Me a Beer".