Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Guy Gets Woke Up, Kicks Other Guy's Ass, Gets Arrested! His Wife Responds to Dumbass News! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, November 28, 2014

Guy Gets Woke Up, Kicks Other Guy's Ass, Gets Arrested! His Wife Responds to Dumbass News!

Best of Dumbass News

Remember this post is rerun, so the numbers in it are old also.


It's not often that I receive an update to an old Dumbass News story.

Unless I do some serious journalism.

As a matter of fact, this post will be Number 1248 in a Trail of Dumbassery that dates back to September 19, 2010.

Guess how many times I have received any sort of update from readers to any of those 1247 previous stories?

Exactly. Three. Times.

And I got two of those just after midnight yesterday! 

Alert Dumbass stoo, Dumbass Emeritus was Stoo-on-the-Spot with regards to yesterday's story pointing out some very pertinent information pertaining to the disposition of the legal case against a restaurant owner who created a porn site in the name of a lady who gave her restaurant a lousy review.

I thought, "Well, that's pretty damn cool!"

Then, out of the blue, like Al Sharpton barreling towards a TV camera through a crowd of Hungry Raaaaacist Poor White Kids devouring the last of the Gubmint Cheese depriving Poor Minority Children of their much-needed Gubmint Cheese Allotment, I got a comment updating the status of another legal proceeding against a Dumbass I wrote about back in September, 2012! 

Cliff's Notes review of that story: Neighbor wakes Dumbass up. Dumbass beats shit out of neighbor and throws him into an aquarium. Dumbass gets arrested. 
Justin Byars - Grouchy When Gets Woke Up

At 1:40 AM Sunday morning this comment was posted:

Laurel Byars 
  • Lol. For the record…I am his wife. And the story that was posted here was from the police report which came from one persons side of the story…Funny…The one who got his ass whooped went and cried to the police. But anyway…The aquarium was empty…Sitting on the floor…We had actually given it to the guy. And the guy who called the police threatened my life the night before…So come on…Any MAN who has a wife WOULD whoop ANYONES ass for threatening them. This whole night all started with a bottle of pinnacle & two lesbians…The guy who placed the police report is not a classy dude clearly by my previous statement. Lol. I believe he lives on the street and has NO JOB! He is a bum. I get the humor of this story the way it is written…However, Justin Byars is a REAL MAN who protected the love of his life and was found INNOCENT in the Newport News court system. That’s all that truly matters.
Here's What I Think  
  • It is my Considered Pre-Law Major Dropout Opinion that the Police gather as many facts as they can about an incident then determine if there is enough probable cause to effect an arrest.
  • Excluding self defense on the part of the suspect, throwing another Human Bean into an aquarium is, in the legal sense, what is referred to as assault.
  • Empty aquarium or not
  • Arrest effected.
  • No fish were harmed in the commission of this onslaught.
  • PETA is happy about that.
  • I agree that if the neighbor deservedly got his ass beat, then called the cops, he is a pussy.
  • Threatening somebody's life is a very bad idea.
  • Homeless Guys Without Jobs have more fun in Denver.
  • Two Lezbeans?
  • Hubba hubba!
  • Adjudication of a criminal proceeding NEVER ends with ANYONE being found "innocent".
  • Something other than a "guilty" verdict is what is called an "acquittal" resulting in the defendant being found "not guilty".
  • "Not guilty" does not infer innocence.
  • See: Simpson, O.J.
  • Two lezbeans, huh?
  • Video or it didn't happen.


  1. I think I missed something here, if the guy was busted for defending the "love of his life." Why were two lesbians needed? Also a question to ponder would be if there were in fact two lesbians why didn't the said wife beat his ass? then that would change the whole outcome of the story.

  2. We do not tolerate Lezbean Abuse at Dumbass News.

    1. I did not say anything about beating up the lesbians, I did say the said husband needs his ass beat for wanting that shit. If he is supposedly soooo damn happy Lesbians are not needed. He made a promise to his wife not a bunch of lesbians.


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