Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: McDumbassery: One Napkin. One Lawsuit. One. Point. Five. Million. Dollars. : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

McDumbassery: One Napkin. One Lawsuit. One. Point. Five. Million. Dollars.

I never thought I'd ever write the following words:

McDonalds is a pox on American Society.

Man, that hurt. 

I have been eating at The Golden Arches for over fifty years! (And, boy am I full! Hahahaha!) That was so long ago that the McDonalds sign said "Over 13 Served".

Anyway....

Mark down this day as The Day I Say Adios to Mickey D's. 

Bonsoir, Big Mac. Que sera sera Quarter Pounder. Ciao Chicken McNuggets. Farewell, Filet O' Fish (Now 2 for $3.33!)

I'm done with all you Rat McBastids! (2 for $5!)

Partial List of Reasons Why
  • Because you are stingy motherfuckers with your hot fudge, you have turned Ordinary Dumbasses into Raving Lunatics. And felons.
  • When the McRib-addicted Yutes of America become so preoccupied with your processed pork product that they turn to vehicular assault when refused a portion of porcine perfection, you have gone too far.
  • Even Plain Old Sluts who work for you are forced into selling their McCooter  to patrons of the Drive Thru because of your blatant disregard for their well-being with your refusal to pay them fifteen bucks an hour to ask the customer "Would you like a blow job and large fries with that McMuffin, Cowboy?"
And Now THIS?

McDonalds' horrid treatment of a Dumbass in Cal-ee-forn-ya was the Final Straw in a series of straws that were straining the camel's back.

Here's the deal:
  1. Dumbass goes to The Arches and orders a meal. 
  2. His order was properly filled.
  3. With one exception.
  4. The McDonalds employee serving the Dumbass put only ONE napkin in the bag with the food!
  5. Dumbass emailed the Manager of this McD's location to whine about getting only one napkin.
  6. The Manager responded to the complaint by presenting the Dumbass with some coupons for FREE McKnobJobs food at the restaurant.
  7. The Dumbass felt slighted by this paltry proposition.
  8. So slighted that he is now unable to work!
  9. Why, you ask?
  10. Because of undue mental anguish!
  11. The Guy experienced so much undue mental anguish(!) over getting only one napkin that he is now suing the McDonalds for One. Point. Five. MILLION. Dollars!
  12. That must have been one messy ass burger!
  13. My cure for undue mental anguish of this nature involves an overdue aluminum baseball bat to the skull.
Dumbass.

***Hat Tip: Heather the Dumbass Wife and You Tube Star ***

4 comments:

  1. Just reading this has made me so upset that I can no longer work. I'm going to sue McD's for $2.2 million. I'd go for $3 million but I don't wanna appear greedy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. It's one thing to make a point ($2.2M), it's another thing to go overboard $3M).

      Your execise of restraint is noteworthy.

      Delete
  2. People like that give us SSDI recipients a bad name you know.
    No WONDER we're in danger of being "cut off" eventually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. McD's gets a bad rap on stuff like this....Wendy's is where the cash cow lives. Baconators and ONE napkin? Lawsuit City, baby!

      Delete

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