It takes a Special Breed of Dumbass to rob a bank.
One Dumbass held up a bank, fled the premises and then, realizing the meager amount of money he had stolen, went back into the bank to get more!
Another Shit-For-Brains knocked over a bank, got the cash and quickly exited the place and promptly hopped into his getaway bus! A City bus.
Ramping up the Dumbassery to astronomical heights was a chick named Jasmyne. After one of her bank heists, she went home and promptly implicated herself on Facebook!
While today's story involves a bank robbery, there's a twist to it that would make Chubby Checker contort himself up like a pretzel.
Let me splain.
Film at Eleven
On a recent night a Guy in Byron Township, Meech-i-gan was settling down at home getting ready to watch the local TV news.
One of the stories on that evening's newscast was of the robbery of a local Bank of America branch. The Thief was a schlub (in this case a female schlub) who needed some money to support her habit. The Female Schlub presented the bank teller with a note saying that she was robbing the bank in order to do some good stuff for her grand kids. Of course, in this case, "grand kids" means "crack cocaine".
|Deeann "The Dumbass" Sanders, Fuckhole|
There is a good reason that the face of the alleged crook rang a bell with The Guy.
It was his mother!
Upon seeing his mother, as recorded by a bank surveillance camera, on Eyewitness News at 11, plastered across TV screens all over Meech-i-gan, The Guy could have reacted in numerous ways.
Let us explore those ways:
- Hi, Ma!
- Neat! Mom's on TV!
- Mom has a shirt just like the one that lady is wearing!
- Damn, that's one ugly bitch!
- Holy shit! That ugly bitch is my Mom!
- All right! My college loans will be paid off!
- Except I didn't go to college.
- I can finally get a new X-Box!
- Dammit! Mom's going to prison! Now I have to move out of her basement!
- Call the cops.
And Mom's on her way to The Big House .....and I don't mean that Big Ass Football Stadium in Ann Arbor.
***Thanks to The Blaze***
***Image from WOOD-TV***