Here at Dumbass News we pride ourselves on being ahead of the curve.
Therefore, I thought it would be a helluvan idea to get a head start on Thanksgiving Dumbassery.
I figure by next week that every blogger and their Mamas will be trotting out their Turkey Day fare. Considering that "every blogger and their Mamas" constitutes a very large number of people and likely an even larger sum of Thanksgiving Day stories, I decided to leave those Other Poor Blogging Bastards in the dust by beating them to the punch. No offense intended towards Other Poor Blogging Bastards.
I figger that by this time next week, you'll be ready to go on a violent crime spree after reading all the Thanksgiving shit that all those Other Poor Blogging Bastards write. If I go early (and first), your tendency to commit felonious atrocities will be mitigated.
After all, luck favors a prepared mind.