A little bit west of due north from the Dumbass Dome, nearly smack dab at the north end of the Appalachian Trail, the largest ski area east of the Rockies, Sugarloaf Mountain, has enjoyed abundant snowfall and booming bidness.
Despite having lived in Colorado, New Mexico and Maine, I have never, not one time, ever been
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Snowboard Schmoboard |
I am further discouraged from doing such stoopididity because of a Winter Sports Dumbass in
Cal-ee-forn-ya.
Winter Sports Dumbass and a few of his friends had a great idea. "Let's go up to Shit for Brain Mountain and do some sledding!"
At 3 A.M.
Using padding ripped off of one of the towers on the mountain!
Padding that protects skiers from being injured if one should crash into the towers!
Before long, it was David Hubal's turn to haul ass down the moutain on the padding.
He launched himself down the BFH (that stands for Big Fucking Hill) in the crisp 3 A.M. air, the wind blowing into his, the adrenaline coursing through his veins, senses heightned by the rush....until he splattered himself all over one of the towers! Sadly, it was the tower from which David and his friends had torn off the protective padding!
David was 22 years old.
And a Darwin Award Winner.
Dumbass.
***Hat Tip to Fearless Mom***
***Don't forget to nominate your favorite story for the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards here.***
I have also never been Snowboard Schmoboard
ReplyDeletesnow skiing, snowboarding or any other snow-Dumbass activity either.
I don't really like broken legs or frostbite!
I hear ya, Phil. I am a big pronent of keeping my limbs in one piece and my appendages (including gazebos) warm at all times.
ReplyDeleteI've never tried any of it. I like legs. They've been really good to me lo these many years and I like it when I walk. I'm asceerd they'll break off if I do the skiing or the boarding.
ReplyDeleteI like my legs also, but it would be my luck to hit the tower with my legs spread apart - adios gazebos. I like my gazebos.
DeleteToo bad he didn't live. Then he could be sued for staining the snow with his blood.
ReplyDeleteThe EPA would agree.
ReplyDelete