Especially to a Homeless Guy who has a hankerin' to see a pair of double Ds at the local jiggle joint.
Of course being a Homeless Guy generally precludes one from owning reliable transportation with which to go witness a set of sagging knockers doing the Watusi on the chest of a crack head ho of a stripper.
However, where there's a will, there's a way.
And an ambulance.
This is exactly what happened in Dee-troit recently.
Let me splain.
There is this Homeless Guy who was very lonely and thought that a trip to a topless bar would lift his spirits - not to mention his Homeless Weenie.
So Homeless Guy set forth on his way to partake of a rousing session of pole dancing by the aforementioned crack head ho strippers.
At some point HG got tired from walking to (I am not making this up) The Booby Trap, Home of Dee-troit's Finest Saggy Titted Crack Head Ho Strippers.
Then, it happened.
He saw an ambulance.
So he stole it.
After all, when a Homeless Guy wants to see some tits, it's an emergency and therefore worthy of an emergency response. So hijacking an ambulance is a perfectly logical solution to such a dilemma.
Did I yet say that Homeless Guy swiped the ambulance from a hospital? What would you think if I told you that the meat wagon was parked in front of - you got it - the emergency room entrance! This is only fitting to the narrative of this story.
There were, however, a few obstacles in the path of Homeless Guy's trek to The Booby Trap.
- He was pulled over and subsequently arrested by Dee-troit's finest.
- The cops track the location of the ambulance through the GPS on a cell phone inadvertently left behind.
- The Booby Trap had been out of bidness for quite some time.
- Also, Homeless Guy had some "mental health issues".
- Ya think?
- Irresponsible actions such as this can only serve to motivate other Homeless Guys with a predilection for Saggy Titted Crack Head Ho Strippers to do some unnecessary ambulance-napping.
- Stealing a cop car is far more preferrable to thieving an ambulance.
- It will get you there faster.
- Unless of course you are going to The Booby Trap.