Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Prelude to the Dumbass of the Year Awards! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Prelude to the Dumbass of the Year Awards!

As you Dumbasses review The Dummies from last year, I'll be busily researching, evaluating and ranking the candidates for the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards for 2014!

As usual, we have an exemplary group of nominees for this year. And by "exemplary group of nominees" I of course mean "a shit load of stoopid fucks who have the collective I.Q. of a Siberian yak's rectum". 

For you New Dumbasses, this look back in time will allow you familiarize yourself with the last year's Dummy Award recipients. For Longtime Dumbasses, this is a chance for you question your judgement and character as to why you still read this shit.

We'll announce the "winners" of this year's Dummies beginning tomorrow, so be sure to tell everyone you know to join us for all the stoopididity (!) - especially if you hate them and want their brain to feel as if someone had rammed a white-hot fireplace poker in one ear and out the other.

From Last Year

Today is The BIG Day!
ave the collective I.Q.In just a few dozen short words, we will announce the winner of the 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award!

I know that you have been waiting with bated breath for The Big One. 

Sadly, your breath smells like it's been baited with sun-dried aardvark liver.

But first....this brief interlude...

2013 delivered us a Deluge of Dumbassery.

This Stash of Stoopididity served up a surplus of silliness.

OK, OK....I'll aggressively abstain from any more alliteration.

Maybe.

A lot of good shit came down the Dumbass Drainage Ditch (alliteration!) in the 2-0 to the 1-3.

A Review of The Dummies So Far

Let us recount some of the more, shall we say "Memorable" Moments of Madness that oozed from the news like pus from a rancid boil on Michael Moore's ample swamp donkey sweaty ass.
The Nominees for The 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award!
And the winner of The 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award! is.......from the David Carradine This Is How I Get My Jollies Division - The Fork in the Penis Sex Game Guy!

Who saw that coming?

We have seen a LOT of crazy shit over the last three-plus years of writing Dumbass News, including Port-O-Potty Doo Doo Diversbut we have never, and I mean NEVER, had a story as sick, twisted, demented, are-you-fucking-kidding-me stoopid as this one.

By the way, fork purchases amongst the male members of The Dumbass Horde skyrocketed the day this story was published.

I'm just sayin'.

See you in December for the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards!

Gawd help us all.

Dumbasses.

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