Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: May 2014 : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Dumbass Priority of the Day!

Priorities.....


Dumbass.

Sucking 2nd Hand Ass Ruins Breathalyzer!

I am a Former Professional Drinker.

I had a drinking problem.

Two hands, one mouth.

I have always been a Full Tilt Boogie, Damn the Torpedoes kind of guy.

I was this way when I was slammin' down Barley Pop as well. (ed. note - for the benefit of the Yoopers out there, Barley Pop is beer)

Drinking wasn't about getting buzzed.

It was about getting FUBARed - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

And doing stoopid shit.

Nothing criminal, just dumb, silly stuff - dancing with the lampshade on your head kind of silly stuff.

I also had some of the Best Drinkin' Buddies a Dumbass Could Ever Have. They had my back and if I did something extra stoopid, their lips were sealed. 

What happened at The Dumbass Dome, stayed at The Dumbass Dome.

Then again, I never had a parrot as a member of my posse.

South of the Border 

An hombre down in Mexico is a fine example of a Professional Drinker, Meskin Division.

Guillermo Reyes, Meskin Professional Drinker, went out on the town one night to have a little fun. His itinerary consisted of oral consumption of vast quantities of the Nectar of the Blue Agave (tequila), doing the Horizontal Meskin Hat Dance with some nubile Meskin putas (whores) and smoking some Acapulco Gold.

OK...I made up the part about Pesos Para Putas and smoking some sinsemilla. <---This is the Meskin word for "seedless". 

Sinsemilla casually translates into English as "some mind-blowing shit".

But, I digress.

Anyway, Guillermo was out gettin' bien borracho (<---Meskin for "commode-huggin' drunk) and when the evening was over he decided to drive to La Casa. 

So Guillermo mounted his trusty steed, a low riding '64 Chebby with pink and purple tuck and roll, twice pipes and fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. There was also a small statue of the Virgin Mary secured to the dashboard by some Elmer's Glue.

Pray for us sinners....

Guillermo almost shoved his foot through the floor board of his '64 Chebby with pink and purple tuck and roll, twice pipes and fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror as he mashed the gas pedal further downward. 

The 300 HP, 327 cubic inch power plant under the hood roared to life and soon Guillermo was racing down the streets of the City at a top speed of nearly 27 miles per hour! 

His passenger, a parrot, (yes, a parrot!) was screaming at the top of his lungs, "Slow down, Guillermo Reyes, Professional Drinker, Meskin Division!" So Guillermo slowed down. 

Jail House Chickens
But that was only because of the Meskin version of a  sobriety checkpointthe The Punto El Check-o for Los Drunks, that impeded his progress.

Guillermo made his way through the Line of Driving Professional Drinkers, Meskin Division to the sobriety checkpoint when the parrot began squawking, presumably in Spanish, ""He's drunk! He's drunk!" 

The Federales determined that Guillermo was indeed FUBARed. Los Feds then extended to Guillermo a most gracious offer of food and shelter for the evening at one of Mexico's finest penal institutions. And by "one of Mexico's finest penal institutions", I of course mean a roach-infested, smelling of piss and sweaty Meskins, 8 feet by 8 feet concrete floored cell. On the bright side, Guillermo now had 37 other Professional Drinkers, Meskin Division as amigos.

Behind every storm cloud there is a silver lining, they say.

There is no word on what happened to the parrot.

Although, I have it on good authority that lunch in the jail in which Guillermo was confined the next day was "chicken" and rice. (arroz con pollo).

Dumbass. 

***Hat Tip FoxNews.com***

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Dumbass Food Item of the Day!

Who says a Dumbass can't be hot?


Hot stuff.

Dumbass.


Dumbass Bimbos, Meth, Cocaine, Twerking & Peeing at the Court House!

Out of nearly 1400 posts and 3 1/2 years of doing Dumbass News, I'm not sure if I have ever written a story about twerking.

I shall do so today.

I am by no means an Expert on Twerking, but from what I understand it requires one to vigorously vibrate her ass up and down like she is trying shake loose a stubbornly stuck turd after a healthy session of "dropping the kids off at the pool."

At least that the criterion I shall use for the purpose of today's story.

What's Shakin' (Besides Females' Asses)

A chick named Coura had to go to the Municipal Court in Vancouver, Washington to pay the fine for a
Twerking Meth Heads
traffic ticket.

She took two of her friends with her.

Coura paid the fine and the trio headed outside.

Where they began to twerking like a meth head shaking from the DTs.

The three bimbos did this within eye shot of of some court room windows while one of them filmed the entire sordid episode on her cell phone.

Municipal Authorities were not amused.

It was during the twerking that some female genitalia were exposed. There was also some squatting and lady pissing on the Courthouse Grounds going on.

By the way, pissing on the Courthouse Grounds in Vancouver, Washington is called "offensive littering". Heh.

Municipal Authorities were further unamused.

The women got into a car, left the scene of the X-rated Twerking and were pulled over by the Police a few blocks away.

Surprise! Or Not

Three words: Cocaine, marijuana, meth.

Bonus Word: Jail.

After being bonded out of jail, one the bimbos posted the following on her Facebook page: "FYI it was not methephetamin it was MOLLY that was obviously cut ... Geez the news likes to overxacgerate... lol Don't bother texting or calling my phone they took that away from me. 

I'm glad we got that clarified.

Dumbasses.

*** Hat Tip to HuffPo & Mrs. Fearless Leader ***

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Dumbass Bacon Photos of the Day!

Bacon.

Enough said.




Bacon Wrapped Chicken





I saved the best for last.....

Bacon Taco. #Winning

Dumbasses.



Anti-Meat Pansies Want to Ban Bacon From Iron Pigs' Baseball Stadium!

Now I am PISSED OFF! 

They are messing the Holiest of Foods Not Approved By the Council of Kosheridity.


I am speaking of course of bacon! 

And this time the culprits are not Moose Limbs, but Normal People.

Of course by "Normal People" I mean Dumbasses that are stoopid as yak shit and twice as smelly.

These Skid Marks on the Underwear of Life are an organized group of anti-meat pussies known as the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, or in the vernacular, "Dumb Fucks".

The Dumb Fucks are not only on a rampage against bacon, but are also savagely attacking America's Pastime - making fun of the Igmo in Chief, Barry Soetero. OK....I made that part up even though more Americans make fun of Preznit I-Didn't-Know-About-the-VA-Scandal-Until-I-Saw-It-On-the-News than attend every baseball game in the country from Tee Ball to the Big Leagues in a full season.

Anyway....

The Dumb Fucks have their granny panties in a wad because a Minor League Baseball Team, the Lehigh Valley (Pa) Iron Pigs, serve bacon products at their ballpark. The Iron Pigs also have bacon-themed uniforms and the team slogan is"Smell the Change". 

Now what could be more All American than that?

Nonetheless, the Dumb Fucks are bitchin', moanin' and whinin' like a bunch of female victims of internet catfishing with PMS.

I told you they were pussies.

The Dumb Fucks even erected a billboard a mile from the Iron Pigs' stadium that says, Keep Kids Safe: Ban Bacon From Ballparks" in an attempt to stop the Iron Pigs from "glorifying bacon". As if this shit isn't insane enough, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine compared bacon to tobacco by proclaiming that 'the team would never pass out cartons of cigarettes to the children of the Lehigh Valley, yet they are providing open access to (God forbid!) bacon crumbles turning a family-friendly event in a (wait. for. it.) a public health crisis!


You ain't seen nothin' yet, folks.

The Dumb Fucks continue in a letter to the Allentown Mayor and the Iron Pigs' owners that "consuming bacon and other processed meat products can be as deadly as smoking"

Oh, it gets better, y'all....The Dumb Fucks conclude with (and I ain't makin' this up), "When you glorify bacon, you are really glorifying cancer! 

Bacon Bits (My Thoughts)

  • Go Iron Pigs!
  • If loving bacon is wrong, I don't want to be right.
  • When bacon is outlawed, only outlaws will have bacon.
  • Canadians don't know shit about real bacon.
  • Give me bacon or give me Death!
  • Four score and seven years ago, our Fathers brought for to this continent...bacon!
  • You can have my bacon when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
  • The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine are Justin Bieber fans. 
    Iron Pigs Scratch & Sniff Bacon T-Shirt
  • Fuck Moose Limbs and The Dumb Fucks.
  • Bacon-hating bastards.
Dumbasses.

***You can order Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs 
       merchandise here ***
***Tell the Iron Pigs that "Dumbass News" sent you!***
***I DO NOT get any compensation AT ALL for plugging         Iron Pigs Swag***
***Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs - America's Team! ***
***Thanks to cnsnews.com ***

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My Guest Post at Pixie C D ---> Bad Idea of the Day: I'm Not Graduating So I'll Call in a Bomb Threat to the College!

Hey, Dumbasses! Chris Dean at Pixie C D has invited me to destroy her blogging cred by asking me to write a guest post!

Here we are at the end of May.

Birds are singing, gardens are in the ground and college students around the country will soon be departing their Institutions of Higher Learning to leave their marks on the world.

And by "leave their marks on the world" I naturally mean "enter rehab". 

Or make bomb threats.

Sadly, bomb threats are fairly common today, even in the most unexpected of places - like Chinese airports and Guacamole Schools. 

And college graduations.

Let me splain.

Read the rest at pixie c d !!!!

Dumbass Fishin' Cartoon of the Day!

Gone Fishin'.....

Or is it "Gone Peopleing"?

You decide. 



Dumbass. 

Dumbass Arrested for Having ATM & Knothole Sex in Public!

A Legacy.

We'd all like to leave a good one when we go to our Reward.<--- That means when we DIE for those of you Stoned Dumbasses in Boulder.

You don't have to be wealthy to leave a mighty fine Legacy upon your Departure From This Veil of Tears, although it would be nice to leave your loved ones a few million dollars when you croak.

A well-known Very Rich Asshole who has done really nice things with his fortune will not, in my opinion, leave behind what a Dumbass With Half a Brain (But, I repeat myself) would consider a "positive Legacy".

Donald Sterling owns an NBA team and was recently confirmed to be a Bigoted Taint Stain On the Underwear of Life when a transvestite who is not his wife recorded a conversation between Donald and Itself in which Mr. Taint Stain said unkind things about Negroes.

What you may not know is that the "female" that Big Don was schtooping is 1/2 Meskin and 1/2 black!

Further, the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) was just a few days away from honoring Mr. Sterling again as the NAACP Non-Colored Guy (Honky Division) Person of the Year for his financial generosity in helping the Negro Community of Greater Los Angeles achieve goals in education, housing and picking cotton.

I don't know if this says more about Donald Sterling or the NAACP.

Now this brings us to the question of "What kind of Legacy will Lonnie Hutton of Tennessee pass on to his progeny?"

The Answer: the Legacy of a Picnic Table and ATM Fucker!

I. Ain't Kiddin'.

Lonnie walked into the Boro Bar and Grill Murphreesboro, Tennessee, dropped trou and began to inserting his penis, not his debit card, into the slot on the ATM!

Needless to say, this type of ATM Humping did not amuse the other patrons of the Boro.

The Cops were called.

HuffPoATMHumpingPo goes on to say, "Officers arriving on the scene say they saw him walking around the bar nude, thrusting his hips in the air, according to WGNS Radio.
Hutton was taken outside and ordered to sit at a wooden picnic table.
Police say he then “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table,” WATE.com reports.

LONNIE HUTTON
Picnic Pecker
  • Let's see.
  • How does a full grown man insert his doohickey into an ATM?
  • Debit Card Ding Dong?
  • That must be one fine-looking picnic table.
  • With a nice "knothole".
  • Is this what is called "morning wood"?
  • Can a drunk guy get splinters in his weenie by sexually assaulting a picnic table?
  • I don't want to know.
Dumbass.

Monday, May 26, 2014

A Memolrial Day Tribute to Fallen Heroes

"Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as they Land they honored." - Daniel Webster

Remembering American Heroes







God bless the Fallen Heroes and may God continue to bless the United States of America.

Memorial Day Dumbassery Brings USMC to the Rescue!

Today is Memorial Day.

I am able to write Dumbass News because millions of men and women have served in our Armed Forces and fought and died for my God-given, Constitutionally-guaranteed Right to Do So.

Courage. Honor. Duty.

"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of  readiness to die." - G. K. Chesterton

God bless the members of the United States Marines, Army, Navy and Coast Guard, and may God continue to bless America.

God rest our Weary Warriors.

Best of Dumbass News

Being Memorial Day and all......

I figgered that story about the USMC coming to the rescue would be appropriate today.

Semper Fi! 

Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, Georgia was at Best Buy minding his own bidness as he was doing his Christmas shoplifting a little early this year when his plans went awry. And by "awry" I mean he was met with a big surprise as he tried to escape with a purloined laptop.


Semper Fi.

Dumbass.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Dumbass Man Cave Sign of the Day!

Redneck B & B.....



Dumbass.

Sex Dolls Gone Wild in China!

I was goofin' around when my able assistant and wife, Mrs. Fearless Leader, was doing some searching for material for today's story. She found some OK. Boy! Did she find some! When you read this story, you'll understand why I love her - great wife, terrific Mom, outstanding cook and finder of sex doll stories extraordinaire. What's not to love?

Actually, Mrs Fearless Leader sent me only one story about a sex doll but that story has a link in it to yet another sex doll treatise. Benevolent Fearless Leader that I am, I thought that telling both of these would be a great way to ease into a Tuesday.

Coincidentally, both of these tales come from China.

Sex Doll Story No. 1

A little old Chinese lady lives near a crosswalk at busy intersection and got fed up with drivers zooming by with little regard for public safety. She called the local cops who in turn did next to nothing to help alleviate the problem. More speeding drivers only caused the Little Old Lady's resolve to steel. In other words, she decided to solve the problem on her own.

I Got Nothing
Her solution? Bind a sex doll to a tree at the intersection! She was hoping that the Indy 500 wannabes would take notice of the sex doll and slow down to a reasonable speed while passing the cross walk.

No word on whether the tactic worked or not but at least one guy on a motor scooter took notice. (see photo)

Questions

As usual, I have some troubling questions to ask about the sex doll tied up to a tree at a traffic intersection with a cross walk.

Question uno: What has this old woman been smoking and can I have some?!!

Question also: Would an anatomically correct sex doll tied to a tree at a busy intersection be helpful or a hindrance? I'm going with "hindrance" on this one. While passing drivers may indeed slow down a bit, the sight of what appears to be a nekkid woman tied to a tree just might divert the drivers attention from something more important. Like, say, I don't know, maybe watching the fuck where they are going! I could be wrong. I am a Dumbass after all.

Drowning "Woman"

In Shandong (which means "plastic lover with air leak is no bueno for caca") Province, also in China, local police received a call of a woman in distress in an area river and appeared to be drowning. Ever vigilant to show their cajones by rescuing a damsel in distress, eighteen cops responded to the call. For over an hour, there were eighteen short men in police uniforms running about looking like an 18 man ant hill, shouting instructions to each other and keeping an eye on the victim - all this in Chinese! That must have sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks on speed.

This was an exciting moment for area residents as almost a thousand people gathered watching and cheering on the local constabulary.

Drowning Victim
Finally the moment of truth arrived and the shorts guys pulled the woman from the river. Except she wasn't a woman at all. "She" was a deflated sex doll! The gathered masses then suddenly dispersed like someone farted in Church after a long Saturday night of Generic Beer and Jack in the Box tacos.

Pffffffffffffttttttppppppppppp

We can learn a lot from these two most Dumbass News-worthy eventsI don't know what the hell that might be, but I just know in my heart of hearts that we could learn something from them

Oh, yeah, I know. We have learned that police trained by Red Communist Authorities with Red Communist money are about as useful as tits on a boar hog. We also now know that short guys in police uniforms in China are lonely bastards by the way they rushed to the scene of the "drowning", hoping to be the first one to give the "lady" mouth to mouth recreation resuscitation. Come to think of it, I'll bet a dollar to a donut that at least three of the cops stayed back after the matter was resolved to make sure the sex doll was "properly disposed of ", if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Better Dead Than Red

Taken in their totality, these two stories show that Communism is a miserable failure as a system of gubmint, meeting the needs of the powerful few and neglecting...woops! These stories don't prove jack shit except that the Red Communist Chinese are horny for blow up dolls. They also prove that short guys pretending to be cops, no matter how honorable their intentions, can not be trusted with a blow up doll. Even if she's deflated. The sex doll is probably the closet these poor schlubs have been to a woman in months! If not years!

Miley Cyrus was nowhere to be found.

Poor Commie bastards and...

...Dumbasses.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Dumbass Photo of the Day: Specialized Pistol for Dumbass Bad Guys!

Ready....aim....



Dumbass.

Really Old Wal Mart Greeter Robs Wal Mart Where He Works!

Best of Dumbass News

I like Old People.

Hell, I am almost an Old People myself.

Old Farts have a lot to offer those around them. They didn't get to be Old People by being stoopid. But sometimes when People get to be Old People they transform into Old Stoopid People. Take, for instance, George Plane, Jr. of Statesville, North Carolina. George was just a nice Old Man working as a greeter at the local WalMart when Satan took over his Soul. At this point George went from Nice Old Man to Nice Old Man Who Is Now a Dumbass Felon.

Let me splain.
This is NOT George!

George was doing his duty as a WalMart greeter making shoppers feel welcomed when he left his post and went outside to his car. While there, George put on a disguise and went back into the store. He hauled ass (as much an 83 year old man can haul ass) to the Garden Department and pulled out a pistol! George pointed the gun at a Garden Department employee and demanded all the cash in the register. During this felonious assault, George the Old Dumbass Felon fired a shot into the air. A couple of things here. I'm thinking that a gun shot inside the WalMart might garner some attention. But that's just me.

Second, and more important, an 83 year old man in a disguise just might strike some people as odd. For God's sake, did this Old Felonious Dumbass really think that nobody would recognize him? 83 year old dudes in some weird get up are not what you'd expect to see at the local WalMart store. I'm thinkin' that George stood out like a guy in a white sheet and a pointed hat at an NAACP rally. I'm just sayin'.

George got the cash from the register, then used his walker to make a bee line for his car and make good his escape. But, George didn't make it far when he was stopped by the cops for Driving While Not Able to See Over the Steering Wheel and armed robbery, but mostly armed robbery. Upon arresting George, one of the cops said (I am not making mthis up), "He appeared to be in good shape". Except for the fact that he was eaten up with The Stoopid!

Dumbass.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Bonus Dumbasery: Puerto Ri-Klan Ice Cream Guy! Yankees Hit Hardest!

Best Guy Dumbass News

The Yankees (Northerners, not the baseball team) have taken over Florida.

The conquest is complete.

I have proof of this horrific news and today I will share that proof with you, my fellow Dumbasses, no matter how much it pains my Southern-to-the-Core heart.

What follows is not for the weak of heart or mind.

Puerto Ri-Klan
The mascot for a small, family owned Ocala, Florida ice cream shop is actually a mascot for the Ku Klux Klan! 

I. Shit. You. Not.

The mascot goes around Ocala and tries to drum up business for the ice cream joint. He has often been mistaken as a symbol for the Klan! I can hear Yankees from all the other places in the USA that they are to subvert screaming in unison, "What does that have to do with us, you  bigoted Redneck asshole?" Here's your answer, you Sons of Motherless Goats, Anti-Southern People Dickweeds and Representatives of All That Is Wrong with This Great Country: Who the hell else besides a dumb fucking Yankee would mistake this for a KKK uniform? See the various colored patches on the "hood" of the costume? What do think that is? A secret Klan colored scheme that signifies the mascot's rank in the KKK, Local 666? If you'd look a little further, you'd discover that the dude in the costume is a Hispanic type, Puerto Rican to be exact, guy. You know how much those Puerto Ricans love that gay old Klan. The KKK used to use guys like this for target practice or as a preliminary sacrifice while waiting for the real fun to begin when they could lynch a black guy. Believe you me, that if this guy was a Klan plant, the good people of Ocala, Florida would save the County a bunch of money and court time when they finished stompin' a mud hole in the motherfucker.

So all you "I Hate the South, So Let's Turn It into New Jersey South Since It's Worked Out So Well Up North" asswipes, you have two choices.
  • Assimilate to your new environs. 
  • You might just learn something about caring for your neighbor or taking care of community business on your own, without the need for Federal intervention and lots of other cool shit from Southerners. 
  • Move the fuck BACK to New Frakkin' Jersey, douchebag! 
  • Now ain't that easy?
That's how they do it in Dixie.

Dumbasses.

Dumbass Texas Photo of the Day!

Automobile Plant


This is real. I have seen it many times. It's located on I-40 just west of Amarillo.

Dumbass.

Guy Loses $20K of Drug Dealer's Cash, Asks Cops to Write Excuse Note to Drug Guy!

Best of Dumbass News

John Wayne once said, "Life is hard. It's even harder if you're stupid."

Who am I to argue with The Duke?

Those nine words are some of the most powerful ever spoken, ranking right up there with "I have a dream", "Four score and seven years ago" and "Where's the beef?" That's walkin' in some high oratory cotton right there.

Today's story is the perfect illustration of what Mr. Wayne said.

Trouble in Tucson

Demarco Thomas must have a rough life.

He is stoopid.

Real stoopid.

Thomas was traveling through Tucson recently when he noticed that he'd misplaced some cash.

Twenty thousand dollars worth of cash! Now what on Earth would a guy like Demarco Thomas be doing with 20 Large in cash?

Do the words "alleged drug courier" mean anything to you?

So here's an alleged drug courier who has somehow lost twenty. big. ones. Knowing this, I am able to deduce that not only has Demarco lost 20 Grand, he has lost someone else's 20 Grand.

And who, pray tell, could this someone else be?

You got it!

Big Time Drug Dealer! 

I ain't the smartest Dumbass in the room, but something deep inside me says that losing twenty thousand dollars that belong to a Big Time Drug Dealer is not a good thing. My understanding is that doing such a thing can lead to a sudden stoppage in breathing. 

Seeking Help

Demarco was also concerned about the repercussions of losing all that cash, so he immediately sought help.

From the Police! 

But wait, this story is about to get a lot better. Better even than the Dumbasses whose car was holding $425,000 worth of pot got hijacked !
It DOES Grow on Trees!


Fearing for his life, he called police to ask if an officer could write a note to the local cartel explaining that he lost $20,000 in drug money; he thought it might smooth things over if he could show cartel members a phony receipt from the local police stating they had seized the money, the Arizona Daily Star reported.

I can see it now:

Dear Bloodthirsty Big Time Drug Dealing Cartel Guy, 

Could you please excuse Demarco for losing $20,000 of your ill gotten gains. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to any drug courier. 

We know that this a lot of money, but it is a mere drop in the bucket compared to the millions of dollars you collect while peddling Death-in-a-Small- Baggie to poor schlubs everywhere.

In light of this fact, we politely ask that you not be too harsh on Demarco by cutting off his hands or resorting to some other barbaric punishment for his little boo boo. 

It is our firm belief that a very harshly worded scolding done in a very stern manner would be sufficient in helping Demarco realize that what he did was not very responsible. 

Thank you for your compassion in this matter.

Sincerely,
Tucson Police Department

In other words, Demarco Thomas is in deep doo doo.

He's either a Prison Bitch or a dead man.

I hope the Bloodthirsty Big Time Drug Dealing Cartel Guy opens up his heart to forgiveness regarding Demarco's blunder.

$20,000 says he won't.

Dumbass.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Dumbass Photo of the Day: Dumbass at the 7-11

The Baby and the Slurpee...




Dumbass.

Dumbass Kodak Moments: Accidental Sexy Photos!

My Friend, Funky Old Dude and Birding Fool Bob Zeller is an award-winning photographer.

Bob has won accolades from some very prestigious magazines and photo-centric organizations from all over the country.

He is that good.

Bob also has an outstanding blog, Texas Tweeties, of many of his birding photos.

While Bob makes things look easy, he actually puts a shit load of time, effort, energy and Egg McMuffins into making what could be an ordinary photograph into a work of art.

Bob has many years of being a Professional Photographer under his belt, I'll bet that he'll be the first to admit that luck and timing often come into play when getting an amazing photo.

Speaking of luck and timing when taking photos......

Sometimes even the most amateur photographer can capture the Perfect Image with nothing more than luck and timing on his side.

Observe:


Still More of a Man Than Obama

I Feel So Pretty!

Limber


Pointed in the Right Direction

So THAT'S What "Vlasic" Means!

She's Checking Out His Bag

Pastry

Biking & Boinking

Have a Coke & a Smile


Surprise!

Dumbasses.
***Thanks to & See More at Coed.com ***
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