Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dear Dead Guy, We Have a Check for You. Signed, U S Gubmint : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Dear Dead Guy, We Have a Check for You. Signed, U S Gubmint

Hey! I got my check, did you?
Best of Dumbass News

By many accounts, the stimulus package passed by the US Congress in February, 2009, has been an unmitigated Dumbass Move. Nineteen months after this monstrosity got the Congressional Okie Dokie, unemployment remains above 9.5 per cent, home foreclosures continue unabated and consumer confidence in the economy is almost nonexistent.

How, oh, how could Congress fuck things up any more than they already have? Just when you thought the answer was "things are FUBAR'ed", our Elected Dumbasses come to the "rescue" with something even more stupid!

Yes, America, members of our national government have been working overtime to figure out new ways to flush your tax dollars down the old crapper, and, dammit, they are doing a damn fine job of it.

The Federal Dumbasses at the Social Security Administration sent out stimulus checks at $250 a pop to 89,000 DEAD or INCARCERATED people! That's $22,250,000 - twenty-two million two hundred fifty thousand dollars- to dead people and Dumbasses in jail. It appears that the idiots at the SSA did not check their records to eliminate dead people and some inmates from the list of fifty-two million Americans the checks were supposed to go to.

Some of the dead people had not collected benefits in over thirty years and some would be 136 years old had they lived! Here's what some spokesdumbass from the SSA said, "Inaccurate payments are unacceptable. Social Security's Recovery Act payments were 99.8 percent accurate, and we quickly collected the majority of the inaccurate payments," SSA spokesman Mark Lassiter said. Being the inquisitive fellow that I am, I wondered to myself, "what is a "majority" of the inaccurate payments?" 70%? 75%? No! When the spokesdumbass said "majority", he meant "majority", as in just over half! According to my math, that leaves somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven million dollars of your money that some dead guy or criminal is spending for God knows what.

For some silly reason, I think the dead guys and crooks are more qualified to figure out what to do with eleven mil than our Elected Dumbasses.

Unless the dead guys are from Chicago. Those are the ones I don't trust.

Dumbasses.

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