Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass Crime Report: Lady Steals Money, Hides It In Her Ass! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, January 30, 2015

Dumbass Crime Report: Lady Steals Money, Hides It In Her Ass!

Best of Dumbass News

I can't stand a thief.

Like the Dumbass we featured yesterday who robbed a bank and forgot the money on his way out the bank door!

The worst kind of thief is one who you have known, loved and trusted - a family member, a spouse or a friend. 

For Example

A Guy down in Tennessee was having a difficult time with his live-in girlfriend. By "difficult time" I mean that he thought the bitch was stealing from him. On top of that, she thought that he was on the verge of kicking her sorry kiester to the curb.
Has Cash Out the Ass

So he set a trap for her ass.

The Guy had an extra five thousand dollars laying around so he "hid" it in a bag and left it sitting in plain sight on his foosball table.

The Girlfriend knew this.

The Guy then goes to bed.

Later that night he woke up went into the room where the foosball table was and noticed that the bag with the five large in it was missing. The Girlfriend was awake.

He then confronted her.

Butt Load of Cash

After a few minutes on interrogation, a frightened The Girlfriend vomited up a bag of partially dissolved pills.

She also admitted to stealing the money from the bag on the foosball table.

And hiding it in her rectum!

The Guy called the cops to report the theft and when they got there The Girlfriend was bleeding from her ass! It was at this point that the police asked The Girlfriend, "The Girlfriend, why are you bleeding out your ass?".

To which The Girlfriend replied, "I was trying to remove the five Gs I stole from The Guy from my ass with a Atoilet brush and some tongs!"

I am not a doctor or a Medical Professional, nor have I ever played one on TV, but it is my considered Non-Medical Professional opinion that the human asshole was not designed to be penetrated by a toilet brush and/or tongs.

Unless it's a part of the Occasional Saturday Night Mad Monkey Sex Ritual between consenting adults.

But, I digress.

According to a Police Spokesman, The Girlfriend was taken to a local hospital where the "wad of money was removed and collected as evidence".

All's well that comes out the end well.

Dumbass.

***Image from The Daily Mail***

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