And now....more of the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards for 2014!
Many of our Dumbasses Come Lately are probably under the impression that Dumbass News is all about stoopid fucks doing stoopid shit. This, to a large extent, is true.
Yesterday's Best Use of an Ass for 2014 story is a prime example of stoopid fucks doing stoopid shit.
There are times, however, when I like to delve into more intellectual pursuits - like science.
By "science" I don't mean that fake-ass stuff like Newton's Law of Gravity or other fraudulant scientistic garbage. The "science" I speak of comes from the application of The Scientistic Method as done by St. Jim Bob, Patron Scientistic Saint of Dumbasses, Rednecks and Non-Yankees. It is my obligation as the Editor-in-Chief of the World's Leading Scientistic Journal for the Dumbass Community to seek all available information, not just that which comes from highly educated pansies who have PhDs in biology, chemistry, physics and other scientistic nonsensical indoctrination spewed forth by Commies, Yankees and pussified Nobel Laureates at Harvard, MIT and the University of Phoenix.
- Petri Dish Penises - This is a scientistic breakthrough that should thrill men around the world - especially the Fwench.
- Lab-Grown Vajayjays - In the field of biology this is what is known as a Complimentary Study to Petri Dish Penises. Fwench men who actually have a "pair" will be excited to know that they can now join their compatriots in being sackless.
- EPA to Regulate Cow Farts - Bovine Wind Breakage has been determined by the Federal Gubmint, i.e. your tax dollars, to be potent greenhouse gasiness. The EPA has decided to enthusiastically pursue this Pressing Environmental Issue with great gusto.
One can only imagine the implications of such a discovery.
- Will Lab-Grown Vajayjays be an over-the-counter item or will they be prescription only?
- Will they covered by ObamaCare?
- Will there be any Fwench "men" left?
- Who cares?