Without a doubt, the Most Popular Special Feature on Dumbass News is Dumbass Newspaper Headlines.
Newer Special Features on the blog, also big hits with the Dumbass Horde, are Dumbass Newspaper Layouts and Dumbass Classified Ads.
Today we are taking the basic premise of those features one step further.
If you have ever lived in a small town and read the local newspaper, you will have undoubtedly come across (and probably gotten a chuckle from) the Weekly Police Blotter. If you are unfamiliar with the Police Blotter in a small town paper, it's a round up of calls answered by the County Sheriff or the Town Police Department.
Almost all these calls are pretty benign. For example, I still remember a snippet from the Police Blotter in the newspaper in Graham, Texas from over twenty years ago. This is a nearly verbatim recollection of that item: "Police received a call of a bull running loose on County Road XYZ. Officers responded. Cow put up."
From small town newspapers across The Fruited Plain, we proudly present....The First Ever Dumbass News Police Blotter!
|She Also Smoked a Late Night Doobie.|
|Next Up: Mommy Teaches Kid Importance of Not Listening to Mommy|
|Another Late Night Doobie Freak|
|Thank God It Wasn't a Dutch Oven|
|Have You Seen This Man?|
|High Tech Police Investigative Tools|
|On the Bottom of the Cage Was a Copy of This Newspaper|
|After All, "Prostitution" & "Failure to Stop at an RR Crossing" Are Often Confused for Each Other|
|Also: Lawsuit Against Shaq Pending|