Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass High Tech: Dumbass Tool Sure to Revolutionize Snow Removal! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Dumbass High Tech: Dumbass Tool Sure to Revolutionize Snow Removal!

Winter in Maine started off like lamb with very little snow and a touch of Global Warming/Climate Change/I Need Grant Money for Fake Ass Weather Fabrications

However, over the last 11 days we have been the recipients (according to Mrs. Fearless Leader) of over EIGHTY inches of snow. On top of that, we are expecting another 6 inches by about noon today.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the intricacies of dealing with copious amounts of snowfall, there comes a time when all that white stuff requires being moved from where it sits to somewhere else.

This Shitloads of Snow Relocation Process necessitates the proper employment of the Latest Shitloads of Snow Relocation Process High Tech Equipment. By Latest Shitloads of Snow Relocation Process High Tech Equipment I of course mean a $15 Wal Mart Snow Shovel. While a $15 Wal Mart Snow Shovel is indeed a very fine implement for moving the snowfall equivalent of the Antarctic from Point A to Point B, Mrs. Fearless Leader discovered what I am certain will revolutionize the Shitloads of Snow Relocation Process....this:


As you can see, hour upon hour of fun, aerobic exercise and the high probability of vapor locking from overexertion await the man (meaning me) who engages in the arduous task of the Shitloads of Snow Relocation Process by using the massive-coronary-inducing radically innovative Two Feet of Snow Sneaker Shovels!

But! Since I am old, decrepit and otherwise beat the shit out of, this nifty item will be Number 1 on my What to Give Mrs. Fearless Leader for Christmas List.

Numero Uno on Mrs. Fearless Leader's What to Give Fearless Leader for Christmas List will be the Stone Cold Steve Austin Stomp a Mud Hole in That Sorry Fucker Beatdown Kit.

On second thought a $15 Wal Mart Snow Shovel ain't such a bad idea.

I'll put it atop my What to Give to My Oldest Daughter for Her 13th Birthday Gift List.

Things will work out perfectly! Issy the Oldest Daughter's birthday is in October.

It won't snow until at least November.

I am a fucking genius!

Dumbasses.

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