Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Paying the Water Bill With Narcotics! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Paying the Water Bill With Narcotics!



Here we are smack dab in the middle of February.

That means that a scant few days ago Mrs. Fearless Leader confiscated my debit card and did what tens of millions of other Americans also did.

She paid the bills.

While paying by debit or credit card is a preferred method of compensation for debt/bill payment by virtually every retailer or service provider in the country, some Dumbasses try alternative measures when settling up with their landlord, utility company or lien holder.

For example....this one Dumbass wanted to help his girlfriend pay her past due rent. So, he wrote her landlord a check to cover it, right?

Wrong.

He instead robbed a bank! 

A Guy in Indiana wanted to go on a big shopping spree, so he went all over Lafayette buying all kinds of cool stuff, paying cash for it - counterfeit cash!

Not To Be Outdone

An As of Yet Unidentified Dumbass in Deltona, Florida had a very unique way of paying his water bill.

He walked into the City Water Department and handed an envelope over to a Water Department Dumbass. I think that most, if not all, Water Department and Non Water Department Dumbasses would quickly assume that the As of Yet Unidentified Dumbass was pasing along an envelope with a check or some cash in it.

In this case, both Water Department and Non Water Department Dumbasses would be very wrong.

The envelope in question was in fact partially filled with a small amount of a white powdery substance!

Evacuate all Water Department employees!

Call in the Hazmat Team! As a matter of fact, call in the Hazmat Teams from the Sheriff's Department and not one but two Fire Departments!

Oh! My! God!

Anthrax!!!???

Nope.

Cocaine.

While I am sure that a small amount of some good blow would more than compensate for whatever water bill the As of Yet Unidentified Dumbass had accrued, I am equally as sure that the Deltona Water Department and the Volusia County Sheriff's Department would see things from a completely different perspective.

Let this be a lesson to the As of Yet Unidentified Dumbass that the next time you need to pay a water bill, rob a bank.

Or print your own money.

Dumbass.

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