Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: March 2016 : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Dumbass Flashback: 500,000 Page Views & The Dumbasses Keep A-comin'!

Over a MILLION hits later and that includes almost a year "hiatus". Still kickin' ass and takin' names! As I write this at 10:26 AM, EDT, Dumbass News accomplished a major milestone.

A. Half. Million. Page. Views.

Five. Hundred. Thousand.


I don't know what to say.

Except thank you!

It was barely a year ago, March 5, 2013 to be exact, that I wrote a post extolling the fact that we had just gone over 150,000 hits.

A couple of months later, we surpassed 200,000 page views. 

It took us two and a half years to get to 200,000.

Here we are ten months later, and Dumbass News has garnered another three hundred thousand pairs of eye balls.

I'd Like to Thank the "Dumbass Horde"...

I want to give a big Fearless Leader Head Up the Ass Salute to you, The Dumbass Horde, for going above and beyond the Call of Dumbassery in making Dumbass News the World's Go-to Source for Stoopididity.

Thank you.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Drunk Driving, Beer Cans, Fat Chicks and Rib Bones!

You know, Dumbass Horde...sometimes I must kneel before the Throne of the Dumbass Gods and submit to their will. Today is one of those times. The Pride of Rockwall, Texas, Matthew Vaughn sent me this shit. It involves alcohol (go figure), a broke down hoopty, fat chicks and ribs. Fucking classic. Here's an excerpt from "The Daily Cricket". “We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle,” said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. “After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself.” After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest. “There were also two female passengers in the back seat,” stated Lt. Sullivan. “One of the females was asleep, partially clad. The other was extremely hysterical. At that time, we believed that she might have been under the influence of PCP, due to the fact that she claimed there were mice biting at her and climbing on her.” I heartily urge you to go read this heartwarming story. Click here ---> The Daily Cricket
Caught with Fat Chicks on PCP Dumbasses.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Dumbass Hunting Photos!

If you have read this blog more than the Average Dumbass, you would know that I am a fisherman. Fish. Fear. Me. However, I am not much of a hunter. Understand that I have nothing against the lawful slaughtering of innocent animals, it's just not my bag (limit). Hell, I am from Texas where everybody and their Grandma hunts. No problemo. It's just that I wasn't brought up around hunting. Fishing? Hell yes. Hunting? Nope. That said, if I were to gt hungry enough I would kill your puppy and grill him to a very nice medium rare if needed. Hunger is a power motivator. Luckily for me, and your puppy, I have never been that hungry. Or that drunk. Yet. I recently asked some Dumbass News readers to send me in some of their favorite and most compelling hunting photos. (OK...I really didn't ask anybody for shit, I found them on the Triple W, but roll with me here). This is what I got.
This an Upscale Redneck "Safari". Sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted.
This type of weapon indicates a man with a small penis. Or perhaps he is hunting very big deer. You decide.
When the shoe is on the other foot.
Sometimes the obvious ain't so obvious.
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. This guy is the bug. I hope you have enjoyed these wonderful hunting photos from the Dumbass Horde. They have certainly been inspirational for me. These pictures also make me glad that I am a fisherman and not a hunter. Unless I get real hungry. And your puppy is within range. Dumbasses. P S...this blogging platform has changed and it really sucks for air. Sorry for the disjointed view of things. I'll work on this shit and hopefully make it better. Thanks.
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