Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Bad Idea of the Day: Buying Cocaine From Cops (At the Police Station!) : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Bad Idea of the Day: Buying Cocaine From Cops (At the Police Station!)

I am not ashamed to admit that I have done some Really Stoopid Shit over the course of my Lifetime. At one time I believed in the Philosophy of Better Living Through Hops, Barley and Chemistry. While this kind of lifestyle is most certainly a dead end road, I didn't see the sign that instructed me of such for many years. That said, I can honestly say that when I bought my substance(s) of choice, I went 1) to a likker store 2) to a Local Punk Ass Drug Dealer. Not ONE TIME EVER did I go to the local Constabulary (the Heat, the Fuzz, the Cops) and say, "Pardon me, Officer, I would like to buy some high quality Schedule 1 Narcotics. Can you help a Dumbass out?" Let me splain. In Hartford, Connecticut there are these two Dumbasses who were in dire need of some Premium Blow, so they set off to score some. Did they go to a Local Punk Ass Drug Dealer on a dimly intersection in Hartford? Nope. Perhaps they set out to find a member of the Sinaloa Drug Cartel to secure a little nose candy. This ended up not being the case as all Sinaloa Drug Cartel Members were busy celebrating "We Just Beheaded a Snitch Day". So, with the unavailability of Local Punk Ass Drug Dealers and Sinaloa Drug Cartel Hombres, our heroes decided that the next logical step was to do something unusual - like go to the Hartford Police Department and solicit an eight ball from a cop. Now this makes perfect sense if you are all juiced up. If you are not all juiced up on some toot, then this is not such a good idea. Here's the Deal: As you may have ascertained, the two aforementioned Dumbasses were on the prowl for some coke. After a fruitless search for Local Punk Ass Drug Dealers and Sinaloa Cartel Members, they were in a "fix" (pun intended). So they decided "Hey! Let's go buy some dope from the cops!" This was major miscalculation on their part. From the article: " The report says an officer was walking to his personal vehicle after finishing his shift at about 2 a.m. when he was approached by two men who said they wanted to "buy coke." The men asked the officer to sell them some cocaine, but said they needed to visit an ATM to get some cash. The officer "pointed out that there was an ATM inside of the front lobby of the Police Department," the report states. "The suspects then went into the Police Department to retrieve $60 to pay the officer for cocaine." There are some lessons to be gleaned from this: 1) When confronted with a darth of Local Punk Ass Drug Dealers and/or Sinaloa Cartel Members, go to the likker store. It's much cheaper and it's LEGAL. 2) I recommend Tequila. 3) Coke ain't all it's "cracked" up to be. <---another pun intended. 4) Channel your inner Rick James..."Cocaine is a helluva drug". 5) If you are stoopid enough to buy blow from the Fuzz, please do not pro-create. 6) Thank you 7) It's good to be back. Dumbasses.

5 comments:

  1. On an unrelated Dumbass subject...my great friend Bob Zeller, author photographer and Funky Old Dude has just ordered his 2018 Texas Tweeties Calendars !!! Bob's photos are ass-kickin' to say the least. I have every one of his calendars from 2011 and on. Go to https://bobzeller.wordpress.com to order yours !!! Bob's a good man, help a brutha out. He needs the cheese (money) for maragaritas. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for that comment, Toby. They can also contact me at bobzeller@pobox.com.

      Delete
    2. Load up his mail box, Dumbasses !!!!!

      Delete
  2. Well look what Dumbass is back in the hood!!! Welcome back to the innerwebs, Toby!! Hope you'll hangout and post more. Perhaps you can inspire me to have an original thought or 3.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Teri !!! Original thought? What's that?

      Delete

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings Google

Follow Us