My name is Toby and I am the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde at Dumbass News.
I am Dad to 4 kids ages 7, 11, 31 and 35 (that's not a misprint), Grandfather to 3 and husband to Heather.
Also, I am a fisherman.
A damned good fisherman.
|It's Dark In Here!|
Fish. Fear. Me.
Why I am Here
I'm just a guy who likes to write about the Dumbass Stuff that people from all over the world do on a daily basis.
Thus, this blog.
Hell, I was "urged" by my Doctor to retire a few years early and who am I to argue with Medical Science? Now I have plenty of time on my hands to do stupid shit and I can't think of any stupider shit to do than to cast aspersions on the idiots that make up that lovable group known as The Dumbass Horde.
I am a firm believer that everybody is a Dumbass... me, you, your neighbor...everybody!
Except my Mother, the Pope and Billy Graham.
I never make fun of my Mother, but if yours does something Dumbass-worthy, she's toast.
The Pope? He has connections to a Higher Authority so he's definitely off limits. I am Catholic. Enough said.
As far as Billy Graham goes, I like Reverend Graham. He's a good man so you won't find anything ugly written about Billy either.
Other than that, I have no scruples and will tear any Dumbass on the planet a new one if I think it's necessary to the plot.
Cussin', Laughin' and Makin' You Think
When I write, I have been known to use, as Mr. Spock said, "colorful metaphors". I will also drop the F-Bomb from time to time. I guess what I am trying to say is that Dumbass News is Rated PG-13. Let this stand as a warning to those of you who have objections to grown up language.
But my primary goal is to entertain, provoke thought and coax a laugh from you as often as possible - which I hope is often enough to keep you coming back for more.
Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde
Contact me at: realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com
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